Monday, June 16, 2008

The Happening

Despite the optimistic namesake, The Happening definitely is not (uugh). The onus of this failure is on the inactive ficus within M Night Shamalyan's residence for not ending this before it was written. Even though I'm a fan of Mark Walhberg's earlier underwear modeling career [glance at my desktop background] I cringed watching him try to invoke emotion; this guy just doesn't do things like love, sorrow, and thought. Who actually suggested him for the role of science teacher? Him bumbling through the scientific method was like a sloth reciting the alphabet. "Identify...the...variables..."

Quick movie synopsis (spoiler warning): breeze, central park suicides, wind, entire North East suicides, great sadness, walking around, random suicides, a crazy lady, breeze, suicide, survive the wind/plants onslaught, Mark Wahlberg's movie wife is pregnant...with a poinsettia you ask, unfortunately no, European suicides, the end.

The only real winner from this release is the 1991 sequel Killer Tomatoes Eat France! which now moves to the second to last slot in my official Killer Chloroplasts: Top Plant Movies of All Time list:

1) Little Shop of Horrors
2)Day of the Triffids
3)Invasion of the Body Snatchers
4)Killer Tomatoes
5)Return of the Killer Tomatoes!
6)Killer Tomatoes Strike Back
7) reserved space for upcoming killer plant movie
8)Killer Tomatoes Eat France!
9) The Happening






2 comments:

Anonymous said...

mark wahlberg wasn't even chosen bya casting director - M. Night wrote the part with him in mind. Is Shyamalan's downward spiral really continuing?

-Nikki (S.)

Max Seel said...

Man that is frightening. I love his creativity, but his execution has been lackluster. Slightly delayed response